What A Rock and Roll Concert Teaches Us about Dealing With Humans

rock and roll

In producing live music shows, you quickly learn about dealing with humans. From an audience perspective, it seems pretty simple. A bunch of people pay money, (sometimes a considerable amount) to see someone perform for them.

As a producer, it is not remotely close to that. Remember how we talk about your customers emotional needs being met? At a concert, the “customer” is not just the ticket buyer. It is the artist, the caterer, the driver, and the vendors. Everyone involved in the show has similar needs to be met.

First you have the audience member. They don’t just want to see an artist perform. They want to be a part of something bigger than themselves, experiencing something others are sharing with them. They fulfill the need for safety and esteem, as well as the need for love and belonging when attending a live performance.  The proof of this is the amount of money some will pay to go to a show. They want to feel good about themselves in a concentrated dose.

The artist themselves have similar needs. They may be paid an alarming amount of money to play, but they still have the same emotional needs those audience members do.  In some cases, they may even be household names, but they still need the same thing you do, like love, acceptance, safety, and esteem. We all have heard and seen stories illustrating the insecurity of many in the entertainment business, especially regarding the talent themselves. It’s mostly true, and that’s ok. We are human, and we can be insecure, especially when we are scrutinized by many people.

With that being said, a good performer makes the audience feel as though they are a part of something special, and recognize the needs the audience came with when they perform. Those are the gems, and I love working with them.  I am not going to be a name dropper, but I worked with a very famous blues man over the years who was one of the dearest, kindest people I have known. One night, a number of people assembled outside his bus, appearing to be planted there until they could meet this legend. I apologetically told him I would get rid of them, and he responded, “Let them on the bus, five at a time.”

“Excuse me, sir?”, I asked. “We will be here for two hours.”

He smiled and said, “Those people are why I am here. They came to feel special, and I want to make sure that happens.” He proceeded to meet everyone, ask their name and where they were from, give them a signed photo, and thanked them for coming. The thrill appeared at first to be for them, but I soon realized it was for him, as well. Everyone getting what they need is the best end to a transaction.

The vendors, caterers, security, and others involved in the production have those needs, as well, and the producer who understands this will go far. One of my mentors, Christopher, ran Red Rocks for the City of Denver for years. He is a kind, but assertive Texas boy who had a knack for making everyone involved in the production feel as though the show would not have happened without them. He gave them what they needed, and they would take a bullet for him.

Why am I telling you this? Reminiscing is a joy, but the point of this story is if you treat your interactions with client, guests, and customers with this in mind, you will give them what they need, every time you see them.   

Empathic customer service and Rock and Roll can save the world. Turn both of them up to “11”.

Give Them Something Extra

What little thing stands out about businesses you like to patronize? Do they make you feel special? Do they go out of their way for you?

People remember the craziest, most trivial stuff when it is associated with them feeling special. It stays with them longer than a simple, even very successful transaction.  How do you make your customer feel this way?

It is not difficult, especially if you understand those emotional needs we keep referencing.  After a while, it is second nature to know how to make a guest or customer feel like they got something more than others did.  We have seen countless examples of people PAYING to get something others did not. If this was not true, we would not have had VIP sections at every live event I ever produced. People want to feel special and relevant, and you can do it without a VIP section.  It was full of people that wanted to feel thy were part of something extraordinary and exclusive. 

I know. Not everyone needs to feel elite. Some do, though. Trust me on this. I was part of so many events in Aspen, Colorado, I know there is a part of the population that wants to be treated exclusively. However, your customers don’t need an ice sculpture or unlimited cocktail shrimp. They just need to feel a little special. They need to feel appreciated, and you can do little things to make them feel like they are apart from the rest. It’s not that hard.

It can come in the form of something complimentary. It can be an extra doughnut. Free delivery. A piece of pie. Or a free month subscription. In this department, a little goes a long way, and what you do depends on a lot of things. It is more often the gesture than the item itself, and a customer will NEVER forget getting something free. Never. And if surprise them once in a while, they will keep coming back.

You don’t have to give material things away. You can:

  1.  Give advice, tips, and professional insight to a customer that has them leaving feeling like an “insider” in your business.
  2. Making your interaction with the guest a little longer than you customarily do can help to let them know you truly care about them as a human, and not just a customer.
  3. You can invite them to a pre-sale event before the general public has the opportunity to see your new inventory or business.
  4. Let them in some background information about a product or service, or take them “behind the scenes”.
  5. Offer them something from another business you may have influence at, or trade with.
  6. Simply be there for them.

If you choose one special way to connect with each of your clients or guests, after a short time, this becomes a part of the way you deal with humans. And that is when the magic happens. When it becomes a part of the way you deal with every human you encounter, in or out of your business, customer service can save the world with. It can be done. It is not just a tag line.

Customer service can save the world.

What the Luxury Market Has Always Known

Luxury market

I have a friend that loves to get her hair done at a place where they give her a glass of wine and remember her name and things about her.  I have another friend that loves a hotel because thy put a note in his room welcoming him, and invite him to a social hour.

The luxury market has known for a long time that making that making the customer feel important was essential to getting their business.  Businesses selling higher end products and services know that their clients want to be treated respectfully, with enthusiasm, and like they are relevant.

Um…..don’t we all? Why should that be limited to the luxury market? There seems to be a belief that only people with money have those kind of wants and expectations from a purchase or experience.  We ALL want to feel relevant and important. So why the heck can’t we? 

Here’s a little secret. That kind of treatment costs little, and in some cases, nothing. Perhaps a front desk clerk at a nice hotel you frequent remembers your name, or a store has your product ready for you when they see you. These things don’t cost any more money. None. Maybe some training, but little more is needed than the desire to treat a human like they have relevance and importance, because they do.

The department stores in the large cities in the early to mid-1900’s that had their employees dress formally, treated the customers like they were the most important people there were, and catered to their egos and needs.  At some point, those methods either became criticized for being to contrived, or fell by the wayside and got lost somewhere in the changing generations and culture. It seems that these days, only the high-end products employ this service culture, a culture that can, and should be enjoyed by all customers, regardless of what they buy, or where they buy it.

Serving someone is not a bad thing. It is not something that makes you a “Servant”. You are merely a person who can make someone feel relevant and happy with their interaction with you. Why wouldn’t you want to have opportunities to make people feel better about themselves. That stuff goes a long way, in the big picture, long after they walk out the door of your business.

For some of us, especially empaths, taking care of people comes quite naturally. But for those for whom it does not, it can be learned, and eventually become second nature. What makes you give return business to someone? Take a moment and write some of those things down, and read them back to yourself. These are the things your customers also want, so if you don’t already, give it to them. It does not have to cost more, but little things that don’t cost that much are received as having a high value in the total customer experience. That glass of wine that brought my friend back to the salon was two bucks at best, but it meant much more to her than what it cost them.

Do what the high-end market has done for decades. Individually treat your guests as though you couldn’t survive without them.

Because you can’t.

What Amazon Does Not Give Your Customers

Give your customers something Amazon cannot.

I have used Amazon three times. It is not that I am against it. I just prefer dealing with humans. I want my emotional needs met with human interaction. If you ask someone why they use Amazon, thy will tell you they love it because of price and convenience.

What they won’t tell you, because they may not even consciously know it, is that there was a litany of needs that DID NOT get met with that purchase. Did they give up trying to fulfill those needs in exchange for cheap prices?

 I don’t think they did.

I simply think we gave up the other needs being met, and settled for value and convenience.

Let’s recall Maslow’s Hierarchy Of Needs:

How many do you think an Amazon purchase fulfills? 

You could argue that a physiological need is met, especially with the purchase of something your body needs.  Safety needs may arguably be met, especially for someone unable or unwilling to physically take themselves to a place to purchase something they need or want. But beyond that, how many of these important needs are met with a digital purchase. The answer is, not very many.

Now, consider the needs that CAN be met when that customer goes to a business that understands their role in humanity and gives them what they need! Nearly ALL of the needs listed above can be met with a positive connection with another human at a place of commerce, even self-actualization.

Look at this chart often to remind yourself of how you can fulfill as many of your customer’s emotional needs that is realistically possible.  Pretty exciting, eh?

I ordered a dryer part that I would never have found in a mountain town store, and a couple of Lego sets my son wanted. I am not, however, “Anti-Amazon”.  I do find, however, that automation kind of ruined the customer service experience, but others would argue that is a fabulous addition to modern society.  Are you aware that since Amazon, thousands of online “stores” have sprung up that are doing nothing more than reselling stuff on Amazon for a little piece of the action? Millions and millions of dollars are being spent trying to find that digital business, with software, click funnels, seminars, and online courses promising to teach you how to get in on that “action”. I would much rather see business learn to connect with customers as an answer to increasing their business versus buying software to fish data and try to do something with it. All the CRMS (Customer Relationship Management Software) in the world is not going to really connect humans. It’s going to connect machines, which does nothing for the emotional needs of human beings.

I optimistically see a retail revolution on the horizon. A day where people come back to brick and mortar, in search of something more than a transaction that fills their immediate physiological need. I think retail will become “Retro”, and businesses will return to finding innovative and exciting ways to attract and retain customers, while creating real human connections that serve us all in to the future.

An Amazon purchase will never be a purchase a person looks back on fondly, at least not the transaction itself. No human connection was made. None. Humans remember the way you treat them, so what do you want them to remember?  How will your next customer interaction go?

I think it will go swimmingly

Don’t Take It Personally

How did the holidays go for your business and your front line?  Chances are, you had your challenges with difficult customers. When a guest or customer is angry, or even rude, it can be difficult to NOT take things personally.  Today ‘we’re going to talk about why and how you can stop allowing that to happen to you when dealing with humans.

There are a number of reasons a guest is rude to you, or treats you poorly as a fellow human. Perhaps they have even questioned yours, or your company’s ability to take care of them. When this happens, remember a few important things.

Chances are, you, or your front line do not know this person beyond the customer relationship that has  been established. Why would you take something personally from someone who you do not even know? If it’s a friend, family member, or acquaintance, it’s one thing. I can understand taking something personally from them. But it’s not. It’s a guy named Frank from Waukeegan, and he is not happy with something so he’s yelling at you, not because he does not like you, but because you represent the organization he has some sort of beef with.  He is yelling at the logo on your name tag, not you.

Please do not think I am defending poor behavior, but when a customer gets mad at you for properly performing your job, they are not mad at you. Their mad at their next door neighbors barking dog. They are mad at their huge phone bill. They are mad their bossy supervisor at work, or annoyed at their in-laws.  Maybe even mad at themselves, and they direct this negative energy towards you. But there is no need to take it personally or get defensive. As long as you are kind, and communicate to the best of your ability, you have NOTHING to take personally.

Now if the guest or customer lashes out at you personally, perhaps making an unkind comment about your appearance, performance, or something personal, before you do what most humans would and react, remind yourself that this is about them, and not you. You don’t know them. Why on earth would you take anything personally from a stranger?

As difficult as it may be to remind yourself that compassion is EXACTLY what this angry customer needs right now, that is precisely what you should give them. I will, however, say it again. There is a point of bad behavior where something other than compassion, like police or a manager, is necessary. Until this point, though, realize you are still in control and can give the customer or guest what they need, and move on with your day. 

I truly believe that regardless of the emotions of that difficult customer, they will remember how you treated them, even if only on a subconscious level. They will come back, and they may even surprise you with their behavior on their next visit.

You will find out very soon, that I am a big optimist. I believe in the best in people, and all of us who deal with human for a living can set the bar for how we all treat each other everywhere, all the time.

I can dream, can’t I? So can all of you.

Carry on.

No Fields Found.

A Holiday Message To Business

Most of us in the business of taking care of people step it up a notch around the holidays, much like everyone does.  We amp up the kindness, talk about how we should be kind all year, then revert back to our busy lives.

Now is the time to decide how your business will connect every day of the year in 2020. We are not only on the frontlines of business. We are on the frontlines of humanity. Think about it this way.  Your business may be as much of your customers daily life as anything or anyone. Chances are, there is more to their life than the time that they are at your establishment, but since you don’t know how much, take no chances.  You can make sure the time they are with you is time that they find valuable, meaningful, and real.  How you achieve that depends on the time you spend with them, the connection you establish, and the sincerity of the interaction. And what happens when we successfully model positive human interaction regularly? Others learn from that, and begin to practice it themselves.

The holidays are often a time many need extra kindness, so taking the time to listen and empathize with your customer or guest can create meaningful connection and make them feel good about dealing with you. How you made them feel during the holidays will go a long way to establishing new relationships, and reinforcing old ones.

Do you have a list of businesses you especially like to patronize during the holidays because of the positive interactions you make there? We all have a few. Some of us more than others.  The more you take note of those businesses, the more you can model the things you like about them to your customers.  

What makes you feel good about giving your money to certain establishments? Is it that they know your name? Do they remember important things about you? Did they go the extra mile for you when you really needed help? Did they do something you considered special in serving you? Make a list of these things and look at it. My fellow visual learners will appreciate this tactic. Seeing it in front of you gives you some perspective mere memory does not. Put this list somewhere you and your frontline can see it, and occasionally talk about it. (Actually, you should be talking about ALL of these posts with your staff.) Soon it will become a part of how you deal with everyone, and you will see the positive results. I promise you it will. 

We really are all in this together, and the moment someone walks through the door of your business, you are LITERALLY in it with them, so why not make the most of it? The smaller picture? More business and happier customers. The big picture? A world where people embrace each other’s differences and get along because we understand what we all need, and work with each other in getting it.

What’s Your Story?

What’s your story? We all have one. Most likely we have more than one.

That means your customers or guests do too.  When someone chooses your business, they have a story. They may tell it to you, and they may keep it to themselves. But they have one, and while you don’t have to know what it is, you do need to know they have one.  And the moment they choose to give you their money, you become part of their story. I find it very healthy to look at it this way.

Now that you know this, how will your next customer interaction be different? Knowing they are patronizing your business as part of their story can make you more prepared for giving them what they need.  The simplest of purchases has a story behind it, and if you know it, your chances of turning a transaction in to a CONNECTION is greatly increased.  If someone shares their story, you can help the story unfold by how you connect with them.  Isn’t looking at it this way more fun?

NO purchase does not have a story.  With that being said, realize the story is not always an exciting or happy one. But there is a story there, and the more effort you make to uncover that story (within reason and privacy laws) the more of an impression you make with your customers. Some of them will want you to know their story.  When they do, listen.  They not only gave you their trust when they patronized our business, they gave you their trust in when they decided to tell you. If you look at that action with reverence, you will see that someone has invited YOU in to their story. Cherish that, and help them live it.

I work in a place where I have the time and opportunities to hear people’s stories.  Most seem to like telling them, and I enjoy listening to them, not because I am paid to, but because I care about other people.  You do, as well, and listening will tell them that. Kids really love telling you stuff.  Listen to every word. They appreciate it, and so do their parents. Your guests will forget a mundane purchase shortly after they make it. If you take part in the story, they bring to you, they will NOT forget it, and they will return, as well as sharing their stories with others.

What is your story?  I realize we don’t have time for the details, but my point is, what makes you what you are today?  Victories, failures, love, hate, and everything in between. You have it. And so does your customer.  You don’t need to know their story, but you do need to know they are motivated by many of the same things that you are, and when they come through your door, remember that. They have passions and insecurities, like you. They have found and lost things, like you. They want to feel relevant and good about themselves, just like you.

Can you help them do that? Of course, you can.

The Most Demanding Customers Need Your Kindness The Most

How do you feel about those especially rude or demanding customers that creep in to your life in the business you have chosen to be in?

It’s easy to let them make you angry, or at the very least, frustrated.

When I was a waiter in my 20’s, I had this theory that those really demanding folks were CEO’s, celebrities, or others with the money and power to make demands whenever they felt like it.  Now, in some cases that is true, but in most, as I have learned over these many years, it is not. After working with CEO’s, celebrities, and others with money and power, I now feel differently.

I have modified my “theory” over the years, and I now put those demanding, sometimes unhappy guests in to multiple categories.  For one, it’s not the CEO that usually makes demands.

It’s the middle manager who is told what to do all day long. Told what to do by his boss, his family, his friends, and the media.

It’s the stay at home mom who finally gets out and wants to make a few rules of her own for a change.

It’s the couple that can only afford to go out once in a great while, and really want things to be special.

It’s the man unhappy about his life, his neighbors barking dog and his unfulfilling job, and projecting it to you.

Please know, I am not defending abhorrent behavior. Its never ok to be rude. I just think if you stop and empathize with these souls for a moment, and see your experience with them as a chance to connect with them on a level they need, you can possibly become that ONE exchange in their day that they remember differently from the others. And even if it does not seem to be working, do not stray from the effort, regardless of how they react. It is at that very moment that they subconsciously need what you are giving them.

Don’t get me wrong. There IS a point where you must respond respectfully with your feelings regarding their behavior, but if you keep it positive, you will never lose. Other customers will see your empathy, even if your intended recipient did not. And, in a best case scenario, the customer will recognize the connection you are attempting to make, and you will be a positive influence in their life.

In a worse case scenario, you deal with the unruly guest accordingly, and in a way in which you wish to be treated. They may not leave happy, but you will have done your part in defusing the situation in a way that set an example to anyone who witnessed the exchange.

It’s not your job to “cure” unhappy or especially demanding people. But, it is your job to serve or sell to them to the best of your ability.  While you are not a licensed therapist, you can give a fellow human more than any shrink ever will. You can give them compassion and understanding. You can make them feel good about themselves. And you can actually contribute to your world with your understanding and grace. Why not?

Connect By Being Present

How “present” are you with your customers? Do you make eye contact? Do you go beyond answering a question with any descriptive words or observations?  Your presence can create a true human connection in the simplest of circumstances.

I was at a company Christmas party last week.  I asked the bartender what red wines they offered by the glass.

“Cabernet or Merlot”, the young man said, in a monotone voice while looking at his coworker.

He did answer my question, but he was not present.  He saw his job as getting me what I needed quickly, so he could do the same for the next customer.   He also clearly did not want to be a part of my world. I returned for another glass of wine later on, and a new bartender was there.  Being who I am, I asked him the same question, obviously already knowing the answer.  

“Well, sir. We have both a California Cabernet as well as Merlot from the same winemaker.  You will be having Prime Rib tonight, so I think the Cabernet is the way to go.”

I felt a connection with this man that I did not feel with the other. Same transaction. Completely different result in human needs being met. My basic need for the glass of wine was just one need I subconsciously wanted met.  The second bartender made me feel good about myself, and my purchase, simply by connecting with me on a level that went beyond just answering my query.  Did that second glass of wine taste better?  Probably not, but I felt good about spending my money the second time around, where the first was a simple transaction to meet my physiological needs. The second exchange only took five more seconds.  Five seconds.

The difference between those two scenarios is what will separate you from the others. You can look at it as being subservient, or you can look at it as enhancing another’s life. The choice is yours. Choosing the latter will result in your happiness as well as the customer’s. This is not just about making them happy. It’s also your well being at stake. Everyone wins when you provide a connection.

It’s easy to forget we are facing people at our businesses with the EXACT same needs we have. It’s easy to see a transaction from an efficiency standpoint, and with that comes the lack of connection.  But it does not have to be that way, even if efficient transactions are your goal.  It only takes a moment to turn a mundane exchange into a meaningful connection between humans, with both parties needing the same thing.  People are longing for connections rooted in empathy and understanding. You have the opportunity to be one or more of those important connections.  Why wouldn’t you?

It’s not difficult to make a connection in even the simplest of exchanges.  And when you do, the customer or guest remembers how it made them feel. I guarantee it.

Customer Service Can Save The World

I am going to come right out and say it. Customer service can save the world.  I know, it’s kind of a ridiculous thing to say, but I believe it. Some in the business of hospitality, sales, retail are only nice to you so they make money, but I want to believe that the majority of us in the business of taking care of peoples needs like being kind to others and helping find solutions to their problems.  This is where we come in.

Modeling of kind, civilized behavior has to start somewhere. Parents, obviously play a role in this, but society could prove that some did not put much effort in to it.  That being said, those of us who are kind to others for a living can model kindness and respect back to our customers.  It literally starts with us. That is what inspired me to begin this blog journey.  You can show the world how it’s done, because you are sometimes as much a part of our customers lives as anyone, depending on your business.  I know, it’s an incredibly idealistic thought, but I stand by it, and want to be a part of the change in how people treat each other.

Next time you have a difficult customer or guest, remember the way you handle it can not only diffuse the situation, but model to EVERYONE that witnessed it, how to kindly and eloquently handle a difficult situation. It will reflect on your business, and show others ways they can handle a similar situation in their future. Crazy thought eh? That you could teach kindness just by being kind? You can. You are one of a zillion interactions your customer is going to have today, but they take notice when you stand out as one that evolved from and interaction to a CONNECTION.

It’s not hard. Simply put yourself in the customer’s shoes. What will make you feel good about yourself and the business you are in? We all get motivated by similar things. I know, you are an individual. But humans still are the same in a lot of ways, and when you let customers know you are aware of that, and that you care about them as a person as much as a you care about them as a customer, you’re not just giving them what they want. You are giving them what they need.

Give them what they need.